With the jingle bells and whistles of joy that usher the festivities in, there can be a whisper of gloom and dissatisfaction that comes with burnout, anxiety, and stress from the concluding year. It’s the “season of giving,” when we spend time and money buying presents for our loved ones and providing aid or goods to those in need. This is what the holiday season often means to us. Beautiful, materialistic gifts are wonderful, but nothing can compare to the pricelessness of kindness, compassion, and love…
…And it starts with you.
A quote by an Indian guru, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, reads thus: “Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
True love and kindness to others, to our society, and to our world is a stream that must pour from a river of kindness and love toward oneself.
Even as we prioritize others during the season by doing our good deeds and ticking off a mental checklist of celebrations, gift-giving, and alike. We must make conscious efforts to bring that Christmas cheer within.
If the festive period is a hard time for you, it’s important to remember that you are not alone.
As parents, it is easy to forget about our own needs, while trying so hard to sort out the needs of your kids, neighbors, and everyone else. So, this a gentle reminder that we take this time out to relax and enjoy the festive period.
Get that gift of kindness! – get a dessert you love, book a spa session, pamper yourself, wind down and get some downtime during this period. You should be the first beneficiary of the love you have to give.
Get that Gift of Kindness!
5 Practical ways to show self-love this festive season
In the spirit of Christmas cheer and giving, we’ll be giving you five practical ways to show some self-love this season.
• Do something you love
It’s so easy to get caught up in school, work, and religious activities to celebrate the season. We know you’re on the planning committee for the estate party. We know you’re also in charge of baking cookies for the Christmas drive. Just take an hour or two and watch that old Christmas movie you love so much. Curl up with your kids or family and watch Christmas musicals. Give yourself a reason to laugh big and laugh loud. Do something you love.
• Practice gratitude
It can be so tempting to focus on everything that went wrong in the past eleven and a half months. However, true self-love thrives in a grateful heart and a thankful spirit. It’s annoying that you couldn’t meet your year’s goals, or that you messed up your New Year’s resolutions on day 2 of 2022. But look at you! You learned a new skill. You taught your kids how to be more polite. Your boss has never been happier. You rocked this year! Take a sticky note and write five things you’re grateful for, place these around the house this season where you can see them always. It will keep you grateful.
• Shut out the noise
The end of the year comes with a deafening din, the noise of people celebrating their wins and accomplishments, and shouts of excitement and joy. We can be lured into a space of comparison and self-loathing. Relax. Tune out the noise and enjoy the season with a mindset of contentment. Your only competition is you. Take it easy and enjoy the place where you are while you anticipate where you’re going.
• Set realistic expectations for the season
You know it can be terribly exciting to have your calendar completely booked for the holidays. Christmas party today, carols tomorrow. It can get a little overwhelming. And honestly, we’re human beings. We need rest. We need space. So bring out that beautiful calendar where you marked the month down with activities, take a red marker, and put a huge X on a few of those activities. Delegate some of those responsibilities. You’d be surprised how much easier you’ll breathe for it.
• Surround yourself with warmth and love
Self-love and Kindness to oneself also look like a healthy, uplifting company and community. Let the people who love you most surround you in this season with a warm smile, a word of encouragement, and a helping hand. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance and don’t be shy to give it either. Let the voices you hear be filled with unconditional love and support.
The year has inarguably been tough and challenging and as we look toward the end of the year, it could be disappointing for some of us. All the projects we started and did not finish, the failed relationships, the costly mistakes, traumatic experiences from the past, and perceived underachievement could lead to extreme self-loathing, self-bullying, or self-criticism – if not properly managed.
Self-bullying & Self-loathing
When we make mistakes, it is more difficult for us to forgive ourselves, and sadly, the severity of our self-criticism frequently varies with the severity of our mistakes. We sometimes overlook that we are also fallible human beings, and no one needs our forgiveness more than ourselves.
It is so easy to be our own harshest critic.
How can we then be kind to others if we can’t be good to ourselves? How do we demonstrate or impart to others what we lack?
Hey! Don’t be hard on yourself! Despite a difficult year, there are still plenty of reasons to be thankful.
We are thankful for the ‘gift of you‘, yes, you reading this! Where would we be without your support and kindness? You are absolutely amazing.
This is a gentle reminder that it is ok to fail, it is ok to make mistakes, and that the mark of success is actually what we learned along the way.
So, why not be a Santa and gift yourself a fabulous gift this festive season?
Give yourself that gift of kindness! Practice being patient with yourself and focus on positive self-talk. You’ll be better for it.
Remember, “Be kind to yourself so that you can be happy enough to be kind to the world.” – Misha Collins.
We’re excited to hear about how you’ve practiced self-love during the holidays.
Drop a comment if you’d like to share with us! You will inspire many and we all need such at this time.
#Selflove #KindnessToSelf #Afrikindness
Written by Divine Hadasa Arinze – a writer and a legal practitioner. Her talents shine mostly in fiction and poetry pieces, however, her flair for words can be translated into all genres. Her first book, The 22nd Year- a compilation of poems and essays, was published in April 2022.
